Okay. My brain is officially soup. A weird, spicy, sometimes-burning-sometimes-just-kind-of-damp soup. I just finished Laxmii on Disney+ Hotstar and I feel like I’ve been through a washing machine spin cycle. It’s 2:30 in the morning and my cat is staring at me like I’ve grown a second head. Maybe I have. Maybe Laxmii possessed me through the screen.
Is this a horror movie? A comedy? A social drama? A superhero origin story for a transgender ghost-avenger? Honestly, I think it's all of them and none of them, all at once. It’s like they threw a bunch of darts at a board labeled "Popular Movie Genres" and just decided to do all of it. Simultaneously. My neck hurts from the whiplash.
So I'm on my couch, right? The one with the weird stain from that time I tried to eat ramen while watching The Irishman. Bad idea. And I just hit play on Hotstar. The first twenty minutes? Okay, fine. Akshay Kumar being this rational, science-loving guy who scoffs at his wife's deep-rooted beliefs. Classic Bollywood setup. I was like, "Alright, I see where this is going. The ghost is gonna mess with him and he's gonna learn a lesson." Spoiler: YES. But also... so much more.
And then it happens. The first possession. He's in the bathroom, the lights flicker, and suddenly his walk changes. His voice changes. I literally leaned back so hard I almost knocked over my lamp. It was so abrupt. One second he's Asif, the rational dude, the next he's... someone else. The walk was the thing that got me. This weird, sashaying, almost caricature-like strut. I couldn't look away. It was so jarring and so... extra.
And then the full transformation. The red sari, the gold jewelry, the makeup that looked like it was applied in the dark. I paused it. I had to. I just stared at the screen. My cat, Mittens, jumped on my lap and seemed to be staring at Akshay Kumar's face with the same level of confusion I was feeling. It wasn't scary. It wasn't funny. It was just... a choice. A very, very bold choice. I got up to get a glass of water, just to process what I was seeing. My living room has never felt so quiet.
There's this one line that is just burned into my brain right now. When he's fully Laxmii, he confronts the bad guys and says, "Burqa pehenti ho, lekin dil mein shaitaan baithe ho." (You wear a burqa, but you have a devil sitting in your heart). And I was like, WHOA. Okay. Deep. But then five minutes later he's doing a slow-motion action sequence while a remixed version of "Bang Bang" plays. The tonal whiplash is REAL. I thought I loved that line when I first heard it, but now that I'm typing this... was it actually kind of dumb? Did it make any sense in the grand scheme of things? I don't know. My brain is too fried to tell.
The movie is trying so, so hard to be a powerful statement about transgender acceptance. It really is. It has this whole backstory about Laxmii, a trans person who was wronged and murdered, and now seeks justice. And on paper, that's a cool idea. A powerful idea. But the execution? It's like they took the most important, sensitive parts of the message and filtered them through a typical 90s masala movie lens. Instead of a nuanced portrayal, you get a cisgender man in drag, hissing and cackling and doing high-kicks. It feels... off. It feels like they're using the identity as a costume for a superhero, not really exploring the person behind it. And that bothers me. A lot.
I keep thinking about this one time my cousin had a wedding and there was this group of transgender people (hijras) who came to bless the couple. It's a tradition, right? They sing, they dance, they bless the family, and they get some money. I was a kid, maybe 12, and I was just fascinated. Not in a weird way, but just... curious. They had this presence, this confidence. My grandma told me to be respectful, to give them the money they asked for without any fuss. She said they have a direct line to God. That memory is so vivid. And watching this movie... it just feels like a caricature of that real, vibrant, and often misunderstood community. It’s like the movie saw my grandma’s respect and decided to turn it into a cartoonish spectacle. It’s a weird feeling.
The third act. Oh my god, the third act. It completely flies off the rails. We're talking full-on bonkers. Laxmii-as-Asif decides to build an army of other wronged transgender people. They all show up in matching black outfits and it’s like a low-budget Avengers assemble scene. And then the final villain? This corrupt politician who wears a ridiculous wig? And the final fight involves Laxmii fighting a CGI skeleton that looks like it was rendered on a PlayStation 2. I'm not kidding. I had to rewind it three times because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This glowing, cheap-looking skeleton is just floating there, and Akshay Kumar is punching it. I was laughing. I was cringing. I was everything. My body didn't know what to do. I think I just vibrated on my couch for the entire duration of that fight scene.
Honestly, the whole viewing experience was a trip. Being at home, I had the freedom to pause, to rewind, to yell at the screen without anyone judging me. (Mittens did judge me a little, I think). I kept pausing to check my phone, to look up the original Tamil film (Kanchana, which I guess I have to watch now), to just stare out the window and question my life choices. If I'd seen this in a cinema, I think my head would have exploded. The loud noises, the big screen making the bad CGI even more apparent... no. This was a couch movie. A "what-is-even-happening-anymore" kind of movie that you need to watch from the safety of your own living room, with a pause button firmly within reach.
And the ending! Don't even get me started on the ending. After all that chaos, after the big speech about justice and identity, it just... ends. With a little wink to the camera, setting up a sequel. I was left sitting there in the dark, the credits rolling, with about a million questions. What did I just watch? Was it good? Was it terrible? Was it so terrible it was good? Or was it just... terrible? I have no idea. My brain is broken. I feel like I need to watch a documentary about grass growing just to recalibrate my senses. I need to go to bed. I need to wake up and see if this was all a fever dream. Was Akshay Kumar really wearing a sari and fighting a cartoon skeleton? I need to check. Tomorrow. Or maybe never. I think I need to just sit with this for a while. This weird, weird movie.
Okay, I'm done. My brain is shutting down.
4/10 - flop
- ishaan